Mixed Emotions

As we get closer to starting our IVF cycle, I'm finding that I'm having really mixed emotions about it all.  On the one hand I'm hopeful and excited, but on the other hand I'm really scared.

I'm hopeful because the success rates are so much higher than with the other treatments we've tried.  We have a great team of doctors, nurses, and embryologists on our side.  They all have such a positive attitude and really want us to succeed.  By moving on to IVF with ICSI, we are really removing a lot of the variables that could have been keeping us from getting pregnant.  With all of those things going for us, I can't help but feel scared.

I'm not scared of the meds or even the actual procedure.  The meds really aren't much different than with our IUI cycles.  I've become a pro at "shooting up" in random places such as  bathrooms stalls of coffee shops/restaurants, other people's homes, my car, and weddings.  I'm scared of the unknown.  I'm scared that it won't work.  IVF is sort of the end of the road in the infertility world.  If this doesn't work, then what do we do?  I'm trying not to let my fears get the best of me.  

I'm trying to stay cautiously optimistic.  I find myself counting ahead 9 months to our potential future child's birthday and thinking about what it will be like to be pregnant, but then I catch myself.  I remind myself that while our chance are better than before, they aren't 100%.  I just need to find the right balance of hopefulness and realism.